Montel WIlliam

today i did a show with montel william. i was one of the guest speaksers. it was really differnt for me. at first i didnt feel anything. i told a couple of people, didnt want to make a big deal. but the people i told- told me that they sounded my enthused that i did. i didnt know if i should feel. or how i should feel. should i feel, regret for saying yes, scrared, should i have said no, should i be nervouse. they flew me out to new york, and i just still felt that 'as a mater of fact' feeling. i landed, got picked up by a spiffy black lincoln continental and driven throught the city to the office. i walked in and wondered, did they know why i was here. did everyone know about me, but pretend not to know. i felt a little shy and came in and said my name and who i was looking for. as if they knew i was comming, they told me to sign in and wait. a lady came to me and asked if i was me, as soon as i identified myself as the name in question they all were instant nice. super since, almost apologitec, it was weird. they had me sign in, sign a few papers, given a little lunch cash, and what time tp be back and i was off. in a not so new city, i tried to follow the simple directions. i kind of wondered why they told me where to go like i wouldnt get lost. it was just up the roud. i got some food. its weird, many times i feel like i am pretending to be palying like i am older, mature, and adult, but its weird, becasuse i AM older, mature, but i feel its more like me trapped in a little kids body and playing pretend.like i am playing a charaecter, when i am really pretending to be me. i ate lunch feeling all grown up, figured out the tip, and left, i got up and went back to the office. as i was wisked into hair and makeup i got a little nervous. it was real. no tuning back,, i verbalized my fear, but they said i would be fine......

stay tuned, i had a long day, did a show, a flight, and stuck in traffic twice. i have a early morning flight, stomach feeling a lil warm from the wine, and i will call it an early (for me) night. good night
i will try to finish tommorow